


The Darkness is Thick

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Attemted Sucide, Fluff, Happish Ending, Lilo friendship, M/M, Really Discriptive Attempt of Sucide, Zianourry Frienship, liam centric, lirry friendship, niam friendship, ziam friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 04:04:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4464773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"There nothing Niall," Liam sighs out instead carefully taking the pills from him and slipping them into his own pocket, "Nothing important."</p><p>"There anti-depressants Liam," Niall says leaning his head on Liam's shoulder, "Of course there important."</p><p>Okay anti-depressants might be important but Liam sure didn't feel like he was important.</p><p>"I…I was in a bad place people overreacted over the situation," Liam mumbles, "I'm a lot better now."</p><p>(He wasn't)</p><p>Or the story of how Liam's been depressed for awhile and his friends (brothers) try to get him through it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> what is with all this angst?

Liam doesn't remember not feeling depressed. Or maybe he does when he was really young. Maybe those few years of happiness are the only reason he knows he's depressed. He knows the difference between feeling complete and content rather than dreary and lifeless.

People just didn't like him, and he honestly had no idea why. He's a little ashamed to admit he'd even go as far as trying to change himself around people just to get them to like them. He did have on friend that always just stuck with him and still sticks with to this day (even after realizing he was a loser) Andy. Only Andy's always gone to another school, and even Andy had no idea so many people took a dislike to him for most of their friendship.

He'd always gotten teased, his eyes were too big and his hair was too curly and even when he started straightening his hair he got called Justin Bieber only a few months later *gag*. When he got to middle school is when the teasing crossed the line into punches and kicks. He hid it from his parents and older sisters for awhile but they even started to notice the repeating bruises and eventually they contacted the school. 

The school told them that since there's no other witnesses besides Liam and the fact that most of the beatings happened on the way home from school and not on actual school grounds. His parents were furious and Liam didn't feel angry because somewhere inside a dark voice was getting loose and telling him 'yeah you disserve every single hateful word and painful punch thrown at you'.

It was Ruth and Nichola who practically dragged him to X Factor the first time, because apparently he could sing. (He didn't think so but when Ruth and Nichola wanted him to do something he usually did it because they were some of the few people in this world who actually didn't hate him).

He got to boot camp but then got told to come back in two years after he was sixteen.

Event though eh didn't really want it, it still felt horrible being so unwanted and he didn't think he could last two more years and get the courage to go back. No matter how hard Ruth and Nichola pushed him.

He goes through another years of beatings until his dad gets fed up and signs him up for boxing. 

It got to the point where he knew how to defend himself but he just didn't want to hurt someone else? He couldn’t.

And it wasn't like he didn't disserve every punch and fowl word right?

His sixteenth birthday party was probably the worst moment of his life.

Ruth and Nichola once again bantered and argued with him about throwing one until he relented because he just can't say no to them.

(its starting to become a problem)

He gave out invitations to everyone eh doesn't know why but somewhere in the back of his mind he's just hoping someone would show up.

By then Andy had realized he was Liam's only friend and for some reason he still hangs out with Liam.

Andy's the only one who shows up.

He was hoping someone else would just show up! Out of pity out of anything-he just wanted them to give a shit realize what they're making Liam. 

It's the first time Liam tries to kill himself.

After an hour of sitting there and waiting he tells Andy to leave and he's not in the mood to do anything right now. Andy gives him a hug and murmurs something like 'if only they knew Payno' before nodding and leaving. His mum and dad try to talk to him, try to urge him downstairs to watch a movie. He ignores them.

He uses an old jump rope from the back of his closet and ends up trying ti to his ceiling fan before standing on a chair and tying it around his neck. When he kicks the chair away he isn't crying. He feels numb. It doesn't break his neck like he hoped it would. He didn't have enough slack. So instead he just hangs there choking for only a few moments before Ruth walks in and screams and grabs the scissors from his dresser and she just manages to saw him down before he looses consciousness. His parents and Nichola run in and Ruth backs herself into the corner dropping the scissors and he remembers Nichole hugging her as the two of him look at him with wide eyes and his parents wrap around him trying to shush his sobs. Because now he's crying because he just wanted it to be done, but he was so scared to be finished too.

He's put on anti depressants and goes to therapy once a week.

Neither works.

Ruth and Nichole sign him up for X Factor again because the Therapist thinks it's going to be a good idea. He get's through again and he doesn't know if he can be happy. He wont be happy until he knows for sure he's actually accomplished something this time.

His therapist ends up getting arrested for physically assaulting his secretary.

He makes it almost all the way through boot camp but then gets let go at the last second.

He thinks of three ways to kill himself as he starts to walk out of the building.

He suddenly is being told to turn around because the judges want tot alk to him.

He ends up getting put in a group with four other boys around his age. Louis, Niall, Harry and Zayn.

They spend the few weeks before the live shows getting to know each other and by the time the weeks ae up he knows the boys well and they seem to think he's okay. Which is good enough for him because at least they haven't beat him up or anything yet.

They all scare him though.

There all cool and collect and they can talk to people without looking down or stuttering. Louis is the worst he's just so confident and funny and loud and he's nice but he reminds Liam so much of the people who use to call him ugly names and shove him.

By the time he gets to the live shows he wants it bad. He wants something he does to mean something. So he pushes himself and he finds himself pushing the others and the others don't stop him from pushing. Harry even turns around and embraces Liam one day and mumbles into his neck that 'without him this band would have already gone to crap.'

Louis hardly listens to him and Liam finds himself getting arguments with the older lad for little things. And Liam hasn't really ever argued with anyone really until Louis came along.

Liam has no doubt Louis hates him.

The other three after a few live shows seem to like him a lot (he has no idea why). But Harry likes to crawl into Liam's bunk while Liam's reading and just cuddle (Liam was never much of a cuddler until Harry came a long). Him and Zayn both enjoy comics and they can geek out together without any judgment. Niall can be silly and adorable and Liam for some odd reason feels protective over him and he has no idea why because he's never felt protective over anyone.

It's Niall who finds out about the depression first.

It's the morning and Liam's curled up on the couch finishing a phone call with Ruth when Niall plops down next to him looking troubled and then he shows Liam what he has in his hand, "What are these Li?"

Liam yanks them out of his hands and almost doesn't breath, "How'd you find them?"

"I…I couldn't find one of my shirts and I thought someone accidently put them in another bag and I didn't mean to snoop I swear Li!"

Liam probably would be angry and he'd scream at them before locking himself in the bathroom.

But it's Niall.

"There nothing Niall," Liam sighs out instead carefully taking the pills from him and slipping them into his own pocket, "Nothing important."

"There anti-depressants Liam," Niall says leaning his head on Liam's shoulder, "Of course there important."

Okay anti-depressants might be important but Liam sure didn't feel like he was important.

"I…I was in a bad place people overreacted over the situation," Liam mumbles, "I'm a lot better now."

(He wasn't)

"Okay," Niall wraps his arms around Liam and moves his head to Liam's chest, "You can talk to me if you ever want to, I'm your friend."

Friend, Niall doesn't even know how important that word is to Liam.

"Okay," Liam returns the hug and relaxes into Niall's touch.

They come in third place and Liam is angry he is so angry with no one but himself and when he returns to the house for the last night he locks himself in the bathroom.

Niall knocks on the door for a good hour before giving up and Liam sort of looks around the bathroom for something that would work to just end it all but all the pills and stuff that would be in a normal bathroom are in people's bags already.

"Leeeyyyummm!" it's Louis's voice.

"Go away," Liam croaks out.

"Liam? Are you okay?"

"Yes."

"Liam for gods sake? Are you mad at us or something because I think your mad at us?"

Liam stands up and before he knows what he's doing he's swung open the doors, "Of course I'm mad! You guys are just so fucking perfect and amazing and talented and confident and I just ruined it all! I brought you guys down!"

"Liam," Louis's voice is unusually concerned, "What are you-"

"Did you know that no one came to my sixteenth birthday party? No one but one person! So I grabbed the jump rope in my closet and tried to hang myself and I wish I succeeded now because then you guys would be successful! Don't you see Louis I bring the band down?"

"Liam?" Liam looks up at Louis now and see's something he doesn't expect tears in the older boys eyes.

"Don't cry," Liam suddenly says feeling bad, "I didn't mean to yell…"

"Fuck," Louis says and he suddenly grabs Liam's shoulders roughly and brings Liam into a hug. And sure he's hugged the other boys. But never Louis-Louis hated him Louis disliked him and Louis should dislike him, "Liam…you tried to kill yourself?"

"Yeah," Liam says, "I did but I'm better now."

(He isn't)

"Liam," Louis suddenly holds him arm length and looks him, "I'm really glad you failed because…I couldn't even imagine this band without you…"

"What?" Liam says, "It'd be-"

"No," Louis cuts him off, "IT wouldn't. I've been a shit friend a lot to you. I'm sorry."

It sets Liam off and suddenly he's sobbing in Louis's arms and Louis is calmly rocking him back and forth and making him comforting arms.

"I've only ever had one friend," Liam croaks out, "Only one, everyone hated him."

"Well now you don't have four friends, you have four brothers Liam."

Liam nods into Louis's shoulder and lets Louis just comfort him.

When Louis and Liam go downstairs Liam's a lot calmer and everyone hugs him and Liam decides this is the best time if any to tell them about his past. Because they haven't really started there career yet and if they ever are there going to need to decide if Liam's fit enough to stay.

"I need to tell you guys something," Liam mumbles out.

And he does he tells them from the teasing to the beating to the graphic details of his attempted suicide.

By the time he's finished talking he's crying again and there all crying. They don't kick him out of the band they just embrace him.

He gets a girlfriend. Danielle a dancer, and she was older than him. He remembers Zayn at the beginning constantly telling him he has to be careful with his relationship because this is his first relationship and he can't just go full thrust with everything.

He doesn't listen to Zayn.

He think's he fell in love with her within a week of his relationship.

Within those two and a half years he got loads better, he even got of the anti-depressants and had to stop seeing a therapist.

One Direction blows up worldwide now, and he's having the time of his life with his four best friends now. Louis and Harry end up getting together a little after X Factor. Which was no real surprise to anyone.

Things all go to hell.

After two and a half years of his relationship with Danielle he gets a call from her in the middle of tour and she tells him she just wasn't feeling it anymore. 

Liam was feeling it, he felt it coursing through his veins controlling his actions. He was head over heals in love with her.

He remembers screaming and throwing things and he remembers grabbing a bottle of sleeping pills in his hotel room because sometimes they all have trouble sleeping throughout tour because of time changes and travelling so much. And he dumps about a dozen in his hand and he's about to swallow them all when Zayn and Harry come into the hotel room. He'd forgotten he was suppose to share with Zayn and he was going to hang out with Harry tonight because Louis and Niall wanted to go clubbing and Harry didn't want to be alone.

They gasp taking in the sight of the wrecked hotel room the look down at Liam.

"Help," Liam murmurs brokenly.

Harry covers his mouth to fight back a sob and turns around hunched over as if he's having trouble breathing.

Zayn stays somewhat stone face and keeps composure as he nods and crouches down grabbing the pills carefully out of his hand grabbing the remainder of the bottle and giving it to Harry murmuring about putting this in a safe place. Harry leaves the room and Zayn hauls Liam up by his armpit and leads him over to his bed practically carrying him there because Liam just feels so numb. Every bit of his body feels like jello and he honestly feels sick.

"What happened?" Zayn asks, "What set it off?"

"Danielle called me," Liam chokes out, "She said she wasn't feeling it."

"I'm so sorry Liam," Zayn says helping Liam under the covers then crawling under himself and letting Liam just latch onto him and cry into his shirt.

"I still feel it, Zayn. I still feel it."

"I know babe," Zayn rubs his back trying to lull Liam to sleep.

He hears Harry come back in and he thinks Zayn thinks he's asleep because he hears Zayn sigh, "You alright Harry?"

"No," Harry admits and his voice sounds scratchy, "Can I just stay in your room tonight?"

"Louis might be jealous," he hears Zayn try to tease but it comes out wrong.

"He'll understand, probably be too drunk to realize I'm gone."

He feels Harry climb in the other side of the bed and cuddle up behind Liam putting an arm around Harry's waist carefully.

"Imagine if we were only a few minutes later…"

"I don't want to," Zayn says and for the first time since Zayn found Liam, he sounds scared and he hears a sudden sob, "We could have lost him, and I really don't want to loose him."

"We won't Zayn," Liam hears Harry shush, "We'll just be more careful and show him how loved he his."

He's put on anti depressants and he has to talk to a therapist over the phone every other day. But he gets better again with the help of his friends-no his brothers. It'd be small things like Louis complementing him on a solo or singing to him Little Things when there on stage. Or Niall dragging him and only him out to try a new restaurant. Or Zayn sharing his comic books and letting Liam be the only one to ever share his comic books with. Or Harry just giving him a hug or a cuddle when he really needed one.

And eventually he got over Danielle.

And yeah he still had his moments of weakness and he still sometimes thinks of ways to kill himself. And sometimes he still doubts himself but his friends would always bring him back and remind him how special he really was.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liam gets sick and doesn't tell the rest of the boys.

Even though Liam was a lot better than he was when he first joined the band he still had his moments of weakness where he just didn't want to be a bother. 

He thinks that’s the worse feeling of them all feeling like a bother.

Feeling too weak to deal with it on your own. And too needy to the point where people have to start believing you’re a clingy mess.

Liam didn't get sick very often, and he's been lucky enough not to get sick in front of his bandmates at all in the past few years. Because when he gets sick he always get's hit hard with illness's that last a good few days. He supposes it's because of his past illness issues. He does only have one kidney. So when he gets sick it takes longer for him to recuperate than others.

Liam wakes up the morning of a busy day feeling like he got ran over by a truck. His head pounded with an uncomfortable thud. Is mouth was dry and felt like he swallowed cotton. He was madly shivering but he also felt sweaty and gross and like he needed a shower. His eyes were dry and burning and he could just imagine how bloodshot they probably look in a mirror.

For awhile he lays in bed and tries to remember what he did last night, and take in his surroundings because sometimes when he woke up he just forgot where he is.

He's in the bunk of the tour bus and he can now feel it steadily move occasionally hitting bumps that rattle his body sending shots of pain all over. The night before was spent playing video games not very late, Liam went to bed at nine because he was just so tired from the day. He remembers being glad the concert was tomorrow night.

He doesn't feel too glad now.

He rolls over and grabs his phone looking at the time it was 5 AM two hours before he was suppose to get up and get ready for the several interviews stacked one after another that day. He groans because he's so tired and sore but he doesn't seem to be going back to sleep anytime soon.

The two hours blur by and he only feels worse and even more tired than before. Alarms buzz off and he hears shuffling throughout the bunks but he can't seem to find the motivation to just get out of his bunk and face the world. He hears incoherent mumbling and then a mumble of his name and he hears the curtains being drawn back and he only squeezes his eyes tighter closed.

"Liam babe, you gotta get up, we don't have much time to muck around?" he hears Harry's voice say and he feels Harry run his hands through Liam's hair. Harry's right he doesn't have time to be feeling sorry for himself. He doesn't have time to be sick he just has to stand up and get through the day.

He lightly groans before sitting up.

"You’re a little warm," Harry comments.

"Yeah," Liam brushes it off, "Don't know why I grabbed that extra blanket last night."

Harry just raises and eyebrow and slips out of his bunk and Liam follows, carefully getting dressed then heading towards the front of the bus where he's greeted with sleepy good mornings and a grunt from Zayn.

He plasters on a grin and says his usual cheery, "Good morning!" and no one really bats an eye.

Liam isn't very hungry but he knows he can't be to suspicious if he doesn't eat his friends will either suspect he's poorly or something's bothering him, and honestly Liam doesn't have time to deal with either one of those types of worry. So he takes a loaf of toast only opting to spread butter on it afraid anything else will unsettle his stomach.

It's not long before Paddy's knocking on the door of there bus which stopped only a few moments before Liam got out of bed, and he's letting them know the cars here. 

The car rides hell, because on a good day car rides unsettle Liam's stomach (mostly because he's always on his phone or trying to read a book) but this time he doesn't need a book to feel nauseous his previous nausea only escalates and he resists the urge to lean into Louis or Zayn who are seated on either side of him but he knows that will clue them off. So he doesn't. He doesn't need them worrying.

He doesn't throw up, luckily, but there almost immediately assured into there first interview of the day. 

Liam manages to keep of the façade of being fine for the first two interviews answering questions with ease and being his usual talkative self. He knows the rest of his bandmates look for him to be the one to settle things. He knows when and when not to joke and when to cut Niall off because he's about to swear. OR when to give Louis careful looks to tell him to shut the hell up because he's about to exploit the biggest love affair the worlds ever known. And when to cut Harry off because Harry simply just doesn't stop talking biased of looks sometimes. He knows when to urge Zayn into answering a questions because people often think Zayn doesn't give a shit about things because he's so quiet. It's just after several years of this Zayn's still painfully shy. (Maybe that's why Liam likes him so much because Zayn's perfect and he still is insecure at times too)

By the third interview he feels ready to just pass out and he finds himself zoning out and the rest having to pick up questions that Liam would usually answer with ease, but is now stumbling over. 

"You allright?" Louis says as the camera shuts down after the third interview.

"Fine," Liam mumbles going to stand up and go to the bathroom to splash water and get his shit together because he needs to stop being suck a fucking burden. Instead of course the moment he puts pressure on his legs his knees buckle out from under him and he would have fallen to a heap on the floor if Zayn wasn't right besides up.

"Whoa…whoa," Zayn sits him back down on the couch and he feels Zayn's cold fingers on his forehead and he can't help but lean into the touch, "Your burning up."

"Do you feel poorly?" Harry inquires.

"N-no," Liam says obviously lying.

"Liam," Louis says sternly, "Don't lie you look like your going to pass out, do you feel poorly?"

"A little," Liam relents.

"Okay," Harry sighs (God Liam's just such a burden he's done it now he's not five years old he can deal with a stupid illness), "Lou probably has a thermometer, could you go fetch it from her Ni?"

"Yeah," Niall says seemly snapping out of whatever phase he was in because Niall just doesn't do good when people are sad or sick, "Yeah…okay."

"What hurts babe?" Zayn asks carefully putting his arm around Liam, and Liam gives up because Zayn feels so cool and he finds himself nosing into the crook of Zayn's neck.

"Nothing…M' fine."

"For christ sake," Louis raises his voice a little bit, "You look close to having to go to the hospital, please Liam we just want to help."

Liam doesn’t need help he's a big boy he can deal with shit like this himself.

Niall comes back with the thermometer and Liam's to weak to fight it from being shoved into his mouth and under his tounge.

"Oh Li, you gotta pretty nasty temp…" Harry says.

Liam feels Zayn's fingers card through his hair and he only leans closer into Zayn's embrace, "'M fine."

"Stop saying that," Louis scolds, "We got to cancel the rest of the interviews."

"I'll talk to management" Harry decides and no one argues because Harry's always been the best at talking to management.

Harry barely convices them to let all of them go and they pile into a van. Louis puts his arm around Liam and he can't help but lean into the touch leaning his head on his friends chest and closing his eyes trying to ignrore the uncomfortable ache his body was feeling all over.

"Really wish you'd tell us your feeling bad Li…" he hears Louis mumble, "We know you are, you look like your in so much pain, why can't you just admit it?"

Liam just shakes his head burrowing his face into Louis's chest because Louis just didn't get it, none of them got it.

When they get to the hotel there suppose to stay at for the night Liam is almost completely out of it mumbling things into Louis's chest as the older boy runs his fingers through his friends hair feeling alarmed on how warm Liam was.

"Liam, we're here? Can you get up?"

Liam only mumbles a little more and curls in on himself

"C'mon Li," Louis mumbles into his ear and unbuckles Liam seatbelt for him half leading half dragging Liam out of the car. When his feet reach the ground Zayn's grabbed his other side throwing Liam's arm over his shoulder and putting an arm around Liam's waist leading the stumbling boy to the front door of the hotel than following Paddy to there room. 

Paddy explained that they had three separate bedrooms but he hears Harry mention that they were probably just going to stay in one with Liam to make sure he's alright and Paddy doesn't argue only unlocks one with his key card then mumbles something about getting some medicine and food before leaving the five boys to now practically carry Liam to the bed. They lay him down and Liam starts to shiver and mumble that he's cold but Louis shakes his head.

"Your burning Liam," Louis says pushing his bangs out of his eyes. Liam looks a lot younger at the moment. Even though his hair was no longer long and he gained muscle on his arms he still looked especially young and vulnerable in that moment.

"He's going to be okay right?" Niall blurts and he looks younger too.

Zayn smiles and wraps an arm around his blond friend, "Just fine Nialler, people get sick."

"But Liam doesn’t get sick," Niall says, "I've never seen Liam sick before."

"Liam gets sick," Harry assures.

"You hear that Payno," Louis slides into the bed next to him and throws an arm over the burning boys shoulders. Liam once again burrows into Louis's side, "You get sick just like everyone else nothing to be embarrassed about."

"But…but, we have so many interviews planned-I we don't have time for me to be sick," Liam murmurs out looking close to tears. At least he was admitting he was actually sick now.

"Yeah Liam, but we gotta give our best in those interviews and you gotta stay healthy?"

Liam looks ready to argue but the hotel door swings open revealing Paddy with a plastic bag in hand, "This has some medicine, microwavable, soup and the number to the nearest doctor. He gets any worse, you call the doctor?"

"Yeah," Harry says standing up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed and grabbing the plastic bag, "Thanks Paddy."

Paddy simply nods giving Liam one last worried look before leaving the room.

Harry grabs the bag and him and Zayn goes through it Harry grabbing the soup and heading to the microwave and Zayn grabbing the medicine and a water bottle bringing it to Liam.

"C'mon Li, you gotta sit up," Louis says carefully.

Liam lets out a soft groan but complies taking the flu medican than drinking around half the water bottle before pushing it away and laying back down.

"You need anything else," Louis asks.

"Well…um…" Liam looks embarrassed and Louis seems to understand because he chuckles and crawls back in next to him wrapping his arms around Liam. Liam goes red but relaxes into the just.

"Leyyyummm!" Louis teases, "You shouldn't be embarrassed to ask for cuddles."

Liam rolls his eyes then cheekly replies, "Keep that up and I'll get your boyfriend to come give me a better cuddle."

"Nonsense, I'm the best cuddler out there, I'll cuddle this sickness right out of you."

Liam chuckles and goes to tell him that's physically impossible but there's a sudden bolt of pain in his heand and he groans, "When is the meds suppose to work?"

"Soon," Louis assures but he now has a somber face, "Liam why didn't you just tell us you were sick?"

Liam turns his head into Louis's chest and mumbles the answer.

"What was that Li?" Louis asks.

"I was just being a burden on the band…" Liam mumbles (again).

"Liam," Zayn says sitting on the other side of Liam and rubbing his back which is making Liam more and more tired "You'll never be a burden."

He sounds frustrated and Liam's minds too sluggish to distinguish why, he just knows that Zayn's most likely frustrated with him. Liam's really fucked things up now.

"But I am all the time," Liam blurts, "I already have so many issues…I just…"

"Liam," Harry says bringing his soup over, "We care about you a lot and if something is bothering you r your not feeling good you gotta trust us to come to us. We'd come to you, and you'd have no problem."

"That's different," Liam tries.

"What's exactly different," Niall says his voice sort of harsh and Liam actually flinches from the tone, "You think that your problems are loads smaller than all of ours, because last time I checked-"

"What Niall says is that we're more angry that you didn't tell us that your sick, than that your actually sick…" Zayn states his voice calmer.

"'M sorry-it's not that I don't trust you or anything…"

"We know Liam," Harry assures.

The drugs were taking affect and Liam was becoming tired and drowsy from its effects he nuzzles closer (if that's possible) to Louis, "Love you…"

"We love you too," Liam's too out of it to distinguish who actually says that or to distinguish who's lips rest on his temple for a few moments. But he falls asleep feeling loved and wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so I wasn't going to actually post other chapters, it was originally going to be a one shot but I just felt there was some stuff missing. (I originally wrote the first chapter a few months ago I wrote this chapter last night and today) There's going to be one more chapter that may take awhile for me to do because it's going to be how Liam reacts to Zayn leaving (hint: it's going to be angsty as fuck). And it may just be hard to write. 
> 
> Oh... and let me just say something about this new single fucking DRAG ME DOWN! Harry's high note thing just fucked me me up.

**Author's Note:**

> okay, I'm just going to say it. This fic is very personal to me and I actually wrote it a month ago. A lot of things Liam feels in this fic I've felt and still feel. I hope those who are also going through this like this fic and I hope the people who aren't going through this don't think I'm a freak for writing this.
> 
> xoxo


End file.
